The medical text books strip out all the “OMG!” emoticons and presents the information as if no one was hurt or affected by the transition. But when it becomes personal, you suddenly can read between the lines and in your head start to scream "OH NO, NOT THAT, TOO!!"
The vision in one of my eyes has almost disappeared completely in a period of nine months and with this transition, simple tasks are becoming more challenging. I am starting to make alternative choices; like no night driving.
Many years ago my mother declared she was no longer going to drive at night and I thought how she was cowering and giving into the aging process. I thought she was being weak. She should continue to fight to keep her independence and functionality! Wuss is what I thought. Yes, I thought she was being a wuss.
Now that I have arrived at this similar junction in my life, I suddenly see how decisions like that are painful and it is probably something you have been evaluating over a long, long time. It is not something you just suddenly recognize and then announce with pride. It is done after a lot evaluating and probably some close calls.
As I look back, I was probably a pain-in-the butt to my mom when she was making that decision. My Mom was probably hoping for some support and compassion for losing a long and trusted friend; her eye sight. I probably went into my nurse mode of chatter letting her know what the text books reported and expected for a well functioning physical body.
Since arriving at a similar milestone in my own life with my own eye site decline,I am swallowing the bitter pill of understanding. I now have experienced that "aahh" moment of recognizing my lack of compassion along with a good deal of remorse.
Now when I review those same medical texts, I can read between the lines and with each bullet point I now see a myriad of emotions, like fear, grief, pain, and sorrow encapsulated around every symptom.
Aging is probably one of the toughest stages of life because a person has to maneuver through the same obstacles in life as everyone else, but now with fewer functioning body parts.
It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to age. After all, you keep losing functionality along the way but are still trying to reach the finish line. It's like trying to keep in the car race but now without the steering wheel and maybe tomorrow without the tires.
I now see that anyone continuing and carrying on through the aging process is not all a wuss. In reality, it takes a lot of guts to be old and even stay in the race!
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